What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What is the difference between anxiety and depressive neurosis?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What misfortune led to an important discovery?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why, after a divorce, would one still want to ruin the other one’s life?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What are some of your favorite hip hop lyrics?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What was your best revenge story?

Make Nazis afraid again!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What is your best gay fantasy?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Can shaving hair by Veet in our vagina cause diseases?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

How can people balance religious beliefs with seeking professional mental health care?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why am I not getting any atheists to debate with? Are they scared?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

So I’m getting piano lessons and my teacher wants me to get an upright piano instead of a keyboard. An upright piano is way above my price range, so what do I do? And what’s the difference between an upright piano and a keyboard?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.